Life before kids obviously looked very different for us, like most. Subsequently with each addition, it’s grown a tiny bit fuller, while also isolated. A major difference has been our social calendar.
Pre-4 kids we were much more available. Doing life with friends was easy, didn’t take a ton of effort & was so much fun!
We’d gradually backed off & had gotten to the point where we were rarely initiating much contact. Yes, we were pretty much always willing & available, but hardly ever initiating.
Yes, we had recently had a baby, & had 4 kids under 5. Yes, we’re tired, worn down & busy. Yes, I felt a bit lonely. However, this wasn’t an excuse to not persue friends.
We had a handful of faithful friends & family who loved us and continued to maintain friendships, even when we were slackers. One of those ever pursuing genuine ones, called me out. She brought it up, in the in the most loving way.
Yes, initially I had excuses & felt a bit defensive. But it stuck… made me think. It was true, I wasn’t doing my part. I needed this accountability, & am so thankful for truth.
Since that day I’ve thought about that conversation often & taken much action. We’ve pursued friendships better lately than we have in years. I’m in a place where I feel like it’s possible, it’s genuine.
The reward from these hangouts are far greater than I could’ve ever imagined. It’s new & old relationships. People from many different avenues of our lives. We’ve connected, laughted, shared stories, ideas & meals. Most of all spent time with people, great people. People that we’ve known well & people we haven’t & know better now. Good, good times.
I’m not beating myself up about what we haven’t done in the past. I wasn’t there, I wasn’t in a place where I thought I could do it. I was doing the best I could. For now, I’m able to give just a little bit more of us.