Maybe you’ve noticed, I’ve been gone for a bit. On a hiatus to think and reflect on why I blog and what I want to do with this space. The opportunities are endless. That’s the beauty of your own creation. It can be what you want it to be; evolving as you go. Blogging specifically can change with seasons. Never really a finished product. Beautiful!
Fear. The reason I took a break. I was wrestling with a lot of anxiety in most areas of my life. Fear of man was the biggest. It began very slowly, and crept in where I didn’t expect. Slowly evolving; it came to a very unhealthy place. I was fearful of people. Physically fearful of people. Not fearful of opinions or judgment, just physical people. Bad guys, ya know. Which sounds like it is a good thing, right? However, it escalated so much that I was fearful of most human strangers in my path, you know in public.
My quick fix was to shut down. Lock everything up! Cause if I was in control; everything would be safe. Right!?! I put all of my social media and blog on lockdown. Wanted to stay home as much as possible. Didn’t want to travel, even though we already had trips booked. My husband highly encouraged me to go anyway. We did, and I’m thankful for that. He always is good about pushing me beyond my comfort. Dealing with things when I don’t want to.
After a trip in October, I was at a very unhealthy level of fear. God gently prompted me with His loving spirit and guided me. I talked with my holistic doctor, who was able to suggest some health and supplement changes. I was headed in the right direction.
Once those began to kick in I was able to think more clearly and hear what God has to say about fear and anxiety. He is so good to me. He knows what we need, when and how. He has given me some clarity on these issues and continues to since.
I won’t say that I’m completely free of fear. It’s a struggle that has been ongoing for many years. I may never be. I do know that fear and anxiety is a robber. It takes joy and freedom. It’s simply no way to live this life. I know God is good and will lead me through every low and every high. His grace is sufficient.