Talking to Kids About Loss

Death, divorce, rejection, loss of physical things… Heartache comes in so many avenues. It’s complicated, something that none of us fully understand. Often, it’s hard to even comprehend ourselves.

Then, becomes even more difficult as we have to explain it to our little ones. How do we explain something that we can’t fully explain? Additionally, most times we are grieving ourselves. It leads to a very emotionally taxing experience. All while trying to keep things simple, and not overly depressing for small hearts.

I personally experienced the long term sickness and eventual loss of my dad at age twelve. It has made big implications on my life that I oftentimes don’t even realize. We’ve also experienced other loss before and since having children. None of it is easy.

This has provided abundant opportunities for us to have these conversations with our kids. They ask questions, and we want to provide them with answers. So we do. Here’s a few things we keep in mind while doing our best to support them.

  • Examine your beliefs; teach your kids from it. We are Christians and we believe that the Bible is true and it gives abundant, information about loss. We trust that it is where we should go in the hills and valleys.
  • Keep it simple. No, heartache is not simple. However, don’t make it overly complicated for little hearts. Only give your kids the information they can handle. Don’t let them be your emotional venting place. They don’t need every detail. Give them answers to their questions, but don’t over elaborate. They’ll continue to ask as they want to know. Most likely not all in one sitting, but over time.
  • Don’t try to have all the answers. Explain to your kids when you simply don’t know, “why”. We aren’t always given all the answers. Admit that to your kids. Tell them that we don’t always know all the facts, we may never know on this side of Heaven. It’s okay to grieve with them and not always be able to explain the “why”.

I pray that these conversations are few and far between for your family. I also pray that you trust. Trust that through it all our God is good, He sustains us, He loves us and He guides us.


Winter Activities for Kids

Continuous days cooped inside can lead to some stir crazy kids and frustrated mamas. Getting out, or changing up the routine is really important in hour house. Here are are a few things that we enjoy doing during these long, cold days!

  1. Visit different local libraries. You’d be surprised at the variety that each on brings. Most have so much more to offer than just books.
  2. Get Creative. Almost every day we have a paint or coloring session. Sometimes its coloring books, but mostly free style creative art!
  3. Local parks and hikes. There is so much wildlife to see, even in the winter. Better viewing through the bare trees too!
  4. Free indoor play places. There are choices in restaurants, churches or community centers that offer little ones to run off extra wiggles.

Being a homebody, sometimes it’s harder for me to want to get out. When we do, it makes for a much happier home.

Hug it Out

Do your kids ever have those losing it moments!?! Do you ever have those losing it moments!?! Does anyone you know ever have those losing it moments!?! Yes, of course, we all do. How do you get emotions under control?

Even those of us who don’t think we thrive on physical touch. Even those of us that are being bombarded with little hands every day. Even those not so little ones who no longer think a hug will help. Hugs never hurt.

My husband is a physical touch advocate, so it’s been his go to for a while. Usually when a emotions get big in our home (with kids or just couple stuff), hugs come first. No words, just hugs. Sometimes long, sometimes short. Sometimes wanted, sometimes not. They ALWAYS leave feelings of calm though.

We all need each other. Sometimes all we really need is to feel loved. My kids especially, don’t need me to feed into they’re out of control feelings. They need an embrace, not an argument.

Next time, give it a try. Even when you don’t want to. It’s worth it! Cause we all need some love.